I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is. So I'm rappelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"... And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius. Look, I gotta go pee, but I'd really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back... And Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown, and the terrorists take you prisoner, well, you'll probably want to take your own life. Here, you'd better have this. [hands Gary a hammer]
Open
| Year | Rank Worldwide | Rank by Region | Rank By Country | Rank By Affiliate | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2023 | 109253rd Men | 3934th Men (50-54) | 20543rd Men North America West | 1034th Men (50-54) North America West | 4081st Men Canada | 241st Men (50-54) Canada | 46th Men CrossFit 604 | 3rd Men (50-54) CrossFit 604 |
| 2021 | 55985th Men | 3023rd Men (45-49) | 29908th Men North America | 1954th Men (45-49) North America | 2326th Men Canada | 189th Men (45-49) Canada | 22nd Men CrossFit 604 | 2nd Men (45-49) CrossFit 604 |
| 2019 | 98933rd Men | 5866th Men (45-49) | – – | 5172nd Men Canada | 388th Men (45-49) Canada | – – | ||
| 2017 | 94389th Men | 3654th Men (45-49) | 1805th Men Canada West | 74th Men (45-49) Canada West | 5415th Men Canada | 227th Men (45-49) Canada | – – | |
| 2016 | Men | Men (40-44) | Men Canada West | Men (40-44) Canada West | – – | – – | ||
| 2015 | Men | Men (40-44) | Men Canada West | Men (40-44) Canada West | – – | – – | ||
| 2014 | 25599th Men | 1480th Men (40-44) | 635th Men Canada West | 44th Men (40-44) Canada West | – – | – – | ||
Benchmark Stats
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1RM Back Squat 325 lb 1RM Bench Press -- 1RM Clean & Jerk 200 lb 1RM Deadlift 350 lb 1RM Front Squat -- 1RM Hang Power Clean -- 1RM Hang Power Snatch -- 1RM Hang Squat Clean -- 1RM Hang Squat Snatch -- 1RM Overhead Squat -- 1RM Power Clean -- 1RM Power Snatch -- 1RM Push Jerk -- 1RM Push Press -- 1RM Shoulder Press -- 1RM Split Jerk -- 1RM Squat Clean -- 1RM Squat Snatch 150 lb 1RM Thruster -- 1RM Weighted Pull-up -- 30 Muscle-ups For Time -- 3RM Back Squat -- 3RM Deadlift -- 3RM Front Squat -- 5RM Back Squat -- 5RM Deadlift -- 5RM Front Squat -- Abbate -- Adrian -- Alexander -- Amanda -- Andi -- Andy -- Angie -- Annie -- Arnie -- Artie -- Badger -- Barbara -- Barbara Ann -- Barraza -- Bell -- Bert -- Bike 50 Cal -- Blake -- Bradley -- Bradshaw -- Brenton -- Brian -- Bulger -- Bull -- Cameron -- Candy -- Carse -- CHAD1000x -- Chelsea -- Cindy -- Coe -- Coffland -- CrossFit Total -- Dallas 5 -- Daniel -- Danny -- Del -- DG -- Diane -- Donny -- Dork -- DT -- Elizabeth -- Ellen -- Emily -- Eva -- Eva Strong -- Falkel -- -
Fight Gone Bad -- Filthy 50 -- Fran 03:58 Freestyle Diane -- Gator -- GHD Annie -- Glen -- Grace -- Grettel -- Griff -- Gwen -- Hall -- Hansen -- Harper -- Havana -- Heavy Grace -- Helen -- Helton -- Hildy -- Holbrook -- Holleyman -- Hoover -- Hope -- Hortman -- Hotshots 19 -- Ingrid -- Isabel -- Jack -- Jackie -- Jennifer -- Jenny -- Jerry -- Jorge -- Josh -- Josie -- JT -- Karen -- Kelly -- Kelly Brown -- Kerrie -- Klepto -- L1 Benchmark -- Ladder Nancy -- Lane -- Laura -- Linda -- Loredo -- Luke -- Lumberjack 20 -- Lyla -- Lynne -- Maggie -- Manion -- Marco -- Marguerita -- Marston -- Martin -- Mary -- Maupin -- Max Bar Muscle-ups -- Max Chest-to-Bar Pull-ups -- Max Double-Unders -- Max Handstand Hold (Free) -- Max Handstand Hold (Wall) -- Max Handstand Push-ups -- Max Handstand Push-ups (Strict) -- Max L-Sit Hold -- Max Muscle-ups -- Max Muscle-ups (Strict) -- Max Pull-ups -- Max Pull-ups (Strict) -- Max Toes-to-Bar -- Maxton -- McGhee -- Michael -- -
Moore -- Morrison -- Mr. Joshua -- Murph -- Nancy -- Nasty Girls -- Nasty Girls V2 -- Nate -- Nicole -- Nutts -- Omar -- Partner Kelly -- Paul Pena -- Peyton -- Pheezy -- Power Amanda -- Rahoi -- Randy -- Rankel -- René -- Rich -- Riley -- Row 1000m -- Row 100m -- Row 2000m -- Row 250m -- Row 3000m -- Row 500m -- Row 5K -- Roy -- Run 1 Mile -- Run 100m -- Run 10K -- Run 2 Miles -- Run 200m -- Run 400m -- Run 5k -- Run 800m -- Run Row Run Rx -- Run Row Run Scaled -- Run Row Run Sprint -- Ryan -- Schmalls -- Scotty -- Sham -- Ship -- Sisson -- Small -- Strict Elizabeth -- T.U.P. -- Tabata Something Else -- Tabata This! -- The Chief -- The Don -- The Ghost -- The Lyon -- The Other Total -- The Seven -- Thompson -- Time Priority Angie -- Timothy Helton -- TK -- Tommy V -- Topsy -- Twelve Days of Christmas -- Tyler -- Viola -- Wes -- White -- Whitten -- Wilmot -- Wittman -- Wood -- Zeus -- Zimmerman --