#SUGlife is the only life for me. I don't know why this world keep turning, Round and round. But I wish it would stop and let me off right now. I don't know why this world keep turning, Round and round. But I wish it would stop and let me off right now. I hang with a bunch of hippies and wacky tobacco planters. Who swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns. Outsiders baby, and we suing the courts. 'cause we're dope as fuck and only get a two in the source. They never should've booted me out of reform school. Deformed fool, takin' a shit, in the warm pool. 'til they threw me out the Ramada Inn. I said it wasn't me, I got a twin (Oh my god its you! Not again!). It all started when my mother took my bike away. 'cause I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave. After that, it was straight to the forty ouncers. Slappin' teachers, and jackin' off in front of my counselors. Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman. Fuck the next lesson, I'll past the test guessin'. And all the other kids said Casey's a dishead. He'll never last, the only class he'll pass is phys ed. May be true, till I told this bitch in gym class. That she was too fat to swim laps, she needed Slim Fast (Who me?). Yeah bitch you so big you walked into Big Panties and stepped on Jenny Craig. She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig. Put me in the headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig. I felt the evilness and started transformin' (rar!). It began storming, I heard a bunch of cheering fans swarming. Grabbed that nice lady by her hair. Drug her across the ground. And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down. Sorry coach, its too late to tell me stop. While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop. I don't know why this world keep turning, Round and round. But I wish it would stop and let me off right now. We drive around in million dollar sports cars. While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards. Outsiders, and we suing the courts. 'Cause we dope as fuck and only get a two in The Source. Hypochondriac, hanging out at the laundromat. Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blonds be at. Dressed like a sailor, standin' by a pale of garbage. Its almost dark and I'm still tryna nail a trailer park bitch. I met a slut and said "What up, its nice to meet ya". I'd like to treat ya to a bagel and a slice of pizza. But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month. But if you care to join me, I was bout to roll this next blunt. But I ain't got no weed, no phillies, or no papers. Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist. So gimme all your money. And don't try nothin' funny. 'Cause you know your stinkin' ass is too fat to try to outrun me. I went to grab my gun. That's when her ass put it on me. Wit' an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry. I fell through the glass doors. Started causin' a scene. Then slid across the floor and flew right into a washin' machine. Jumped up with a broken back. Thank god I was smokin' crack all day. And doped up off coke and smack. All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse. Now I want to kill her. But so I gotta catch her first. Ran threw alleys, parkin' lots, and took a shortcut. Saw the house she ran up in. And shot her fuckin' porch up. Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut. Looked around the room. That's when I seen the bedroom door shut. I know you're in there bitch! I got my gun cocked! You might as well come out now. She said "Come in, its unlocked!" I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne. And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin' gay porn. She said "Come her big boy, lets get acquainted". I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it. She came at me at full speed, nothin' could stop her. I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her. I started to beg "No, please let go". But she swallowed my fuckin' leg whole like an egg roll. With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled. I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple. Just trying to buy me some time, then I remembered this magic trick. Den den den den den den, go go gadget dick! Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it. It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage. I shouted "Now bitch, lets see who gets the best!" Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death (Ah! ah!). I don't know why this world keep turning, Round and round. But I wish it would stop and let me off right now. I don't know why this world keep turning, Round and round. But I wish it would stop and let me off right now. I don't know why this world keep turning. Round and round.
Open
| Year | Rank Worldwide | Rank by Region | Rank By Country | Rank By Affiliate | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2019 | 11833rd Men | – – | 5585th Men United States | – – | ||||
| 2018 | 19070th Men | 1205th Men Mid Atlantic | 10413th Men United States | – – | ||||
| 2017 | 4505th Men | 301st Men Mid Atlantic | 2748th Men United States | – – | ||||
| 2016 | 5083rd Men | 399th Men South East | – – | – – | ||||
| 2015 | 3470th Men | 317th Men South East | – – | – – | ||||
| 2014 | 10012th Men | 867th Men South East | – – | – – | ||||
| 2013 | 9766th Men | 916th Men South East | – – | – – | ||||
Benchmark Stats
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1RM Back Squat -- 1RM Bench Press -- 1RM Clean & Jerk -- 1RM Deadlift -- 1RM Front Squat -- 1RM Hang Power Clean -- 1RM Hang Power Snatch -- 1RM Hang Squat Clean -- 1RM Hang Squat Snatch -- 1RM Overhead Squat -- 1RM Power Clean -- 1RM Power Snatch -- 1RM Push Jerk -- 1RM Push Press -- 1RM Shoulder Press -- 1RM Split Jerk -- 1RM Squat Clean -- 1RM Squat Snatch -- 1RM Thruster -- 1RM Weighted Pull-up -- 30 Muscle-ups For Time -- 3RM Back Squat -- 3RM Deadlift -- 3RM Front Squat -- 5RM Back Squat -- 5RM Deadlift -- 5RM Front Squat -- Abbate -- Adrian -- Alexander -- Amanda -- Andi -- Andy -- Angie -- Annie -- Arnie -- Artie -- Badger -- Barbara -- Barbara Ann -- Barraza -- Bell -- Bert -- Bike 50 Cal -- Blake -- Bradley -- Bradshaw -- Brenton -- Brian -- Bulger -- Bull -- Cameron -- Candy -- Carse -- CHAD1000x -- Chelsea -- Cindy -- Coe -- Coffland -- CrossFit Total -- Dallas 5 -- Daniel -- Danny -- Del -- DG -- Diane -- Donny -- Dork -- DT -- Elizabeth -- Ellen -- Emily -- Eva -- Eva Strong -- Falkel -- -
Fight Gone Bad -- Filthy 50 -- Fran -- Freestyle Diane -- Gator -- GHD Annie -- Glen -- Grace -- Grettel -- Griff -- Gwen -- Hall -- Hansen -- Harper -- Havana -- Heavy Grace -- Helen -- Helton -- Hildy -- Holbrook -- Holleyman -- Hoover -- Hope -- Hortman -- Hotshots 19 -- Ingrid -- Isabel -- Jack -- Jackie -- Jennifer -- Jenny -- Jerry -- Jorge -- Josh -- Josie -- JT -- Karen -- Kelly -- Kelly Brown -- Kerrie -- Klepto -- L1 Benchmark -- Ladder Nancy -- Lane -- Laura -- Linda -- Loredo -- Luke -- Lumberjack 20 -- Lyla -- Lynne -- Maggie -- Manion -- Marco -- Marguerita -- Marston -- Martin -- Mary -- Maupin -- Max Bar Muscle-ups -- Max Chest-to-Bar Pull-ups -- Max Double-Unders -- Max Handstand Hold (Free) -- Max Handstand Hold (Wall) -- Max Handstand Push-ups -- Max Handstand Push-ups (Strict) -- Max L-Sit Hold -- Max Muscle-ups -- Max Muscle-ups (Strict) -- Max Pull-ups -- Max Pull-ups (Strict) -- Max Toes-to-Bar -- Maxton -- McGhee -- Michael -- -
Moore -- Morrison -- Mr. Joshua -- Murph -- Nancy -- Nasty Girls -- Nasty Girls V2 -- Nate -- Nicole -- Nutts -- Omar -- Partner Kelly -- Paul Pena -- Peyton -- Pheezy -- Power Amanda -- Rahoi -- Randy -- Rankel -- René -- Rich -- Riley -- Row 1000m -- Row 100m -- Row 2000m -- Row 250m -- Row 3000m -- Row 500m -- Row 5K -- Roy -- Run 1 Mile -- Run 100m -- Run 10K -- Run 2 Miles -- Run 200m -- Run 400m -- Run 5k -- Run 800m -- Run Row Run Rx -- Run Row Run Scaled -- Run Row Run Sprint -- Ryan -- Schmalls -- Scotty -- Sham -- Ship -- Sisson -- Small -- Strict Elizabeth -- T.U.P. -- Tabata Something Else -- Tabata This! -- The Chief -- The Don -- The Ghost -- The Lyon -- The Other Total -- The Seven -- Thompson -- Time Priority Angie -- Timothy Helton -- TK -- Tommy V -- Topsy -- Twelve Days of Christmas -- Tyler -- Viola -- Wes -- White -- Whitten -- Wilmot -- Wittman -- Wood -- Zeus -- Zimmerman --