October 26, 2020
Humanizing the Gods
By Brittney Saline
CrossFit Games athletes are just like you and me ... sort of.
CrossFit Games athletes are just like you and me ... sort of.

One of the most impressive things about any given CrossFit Games athlete is their extraordinary capacity. Equally impressive is their ability to do some of the worst workouts imaginable and still come out the other side looking like a Greek god or goddess.

Even coloring. Makeup on point. Hair only slightly tousled in an adorable way. Whereas the rest of us finish our workouts with beet-red faces, Fran cough, and sweat stains in embarrassing places.

Consider Samuel Kwant, the winner of Sunday morning’s Swim ‘N’ Stuff. After four savage rounds of Air Bike calories, swimming, GHD sit-ups, and ball slams, he sat calmly on his haunches while announcers commented on his even demeanor. 

“Sam Kwant, who has just, like you said, been—”

Kwant interrupted Sean Woodland’s commentary with a resounding belch.

“—kind of quiet, except for that,” Woodland finished, dissolving into a fit of laughter. 

It seems that not even CrossFit Games athletes are immune to the consequences of heavy breathing and pool water.

After the burp, which likely earned the approval of teenage boys everywhere, Kwant calmly stood and toweled off for his post-event interview.

“At this point, I’m just trying to keep my breakfast down,” he admitted. “It was pretty gnarly.”

He wasn’t the only elite athlete with stomach issues this weekend. Haley Adams took second in Ranch Loop, but not without a price.

Ranch Loop, which took place at the famed Castro Ranch in Aromas, California, was a 3-mile run — more or less — through “varying terrain.” Athletes ran through sand, up hills, down rocky inclines, over sticks, and through thick grass while breathing clouds of dust.

Adams looked strong throughout, her breath even and pace solid. She finished about a minute and a half after victor Katrin Davidsdottir.

But later that night, away from the cameras and onlookers, she lost her lunch. Twice.

“I kinda looked like a zombie,” she said during Day 2’s press conference.

Haley Adams during Ranch Loop
Haley Adams during Ranch Loop

So yeah. CrossFit Games athletes are a lot fitter than the rest of us, and yes, they often look just fine after a workout that would destroy you or me. 

But that’s because they’re willing to endure whatever it takes to get to that level.

Even if it means a few lost lunches along the way.