I can't bust heads like I used to. But I have my ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Madison. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Carson, which is what they called Madison in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of Dave Castro on 'em. "Gimme five Castros for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn't have any white onions, because they aren't paleo. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones
Open
| Year | Rank Worldwide | Rank by Region | Rank By Country | Rank By Affiliate | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2022 | 64603rd Men | 12619th Men (35-39) | 29429th Men North America | 6041st Men (35-39) North America | 25527th Men United States | 5310th Men (35-39) United States | 28th Men CrossFit Omnia | 4th Men (35-39) CrossFit Omnia |
| 2020 | 2281st Men | – – | 954th Men United States | – – | ||||
| 2018 | 5927th Men | 583rd Men West Coast | 3193rd Men United States | – – | ||||
| 2017 | 27581st Men | 1112th Men Southern California | 15422nd Men United States | – – | ||||
| 2016 | 12328th Men | 602nd Men Southern California | – – | – – | ||||
| 2015 | 19174th Men | 1007th Men Southern California | – – | – – | ||||
Benchmark Stats
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1RM Back Squat -- 1RM Bench Press -- 1RM Clean & Jerk -- 1RM Deadlift -- 1RM Front Squat -- 1RM Hang Power Clean -- 1RM Hang Power Snatch -- 1RM Hang Squat Clean -- 1RM Hang Squat Snatch -- 1RM Overhead Squat -- 1RM Power Clean -- 1RM Power Snatch -- 1RM Push Jerk -- 1RM Push Press -- 1RM Shoulder Press -- 1RM Split Jerk -- 1RM Squat Clean -- 1RM Squat Snatch -- 1RM Thruster -- 1RM Weighted Pull-up -- 30 Muscle-ups For Time -- 3RM Back Squat -- 3RM Deadlift -- 3RM Front Squat -- 5RM Back Squat -- 5RM Deadlift -- 5RM Front Squat -- Abbate -- Adrian -- Alexander -- Amanda -- Andi -- Andy -- Angie -- Annie -- Arnie -- Artie -- Badger -- Barbara -- Barbara Ann -- Barraza -- Bell -- Bert -- Bike 50 Cal -- Blake -- Bradley -- Bradshaw -- Brenton -- Brian -- Bulger -- Bull -- Cameron -- Candy -- Carse -- CHAD1000x -- Chelsea -- Cindy -- Coe -- Coffland -- CrossFit Total -- Dallas 5 -- Daniel -- Danny -- Del -- DG -- Diane -- Donny -- Dork -- DT -- Elizabeth -- Ellen -- Emily -- Eva -- Eva Strong -- Falkel -- -
Fight Gone Bad -- Filthy 50 -- Fran -- Freestyle Diane -- Gator -- GHD Annie -- Glen -- Grace -- Grettel -- Griff -- Gwen -- Hall -- Hansen -- Harper -- Havana -- Heavy Grace -- Helen -- Helton -- Hildy -- Holbrook -- Holleyman -- Hoover -- Hope -- Hortman -- Hotshots 19 -- Ingrid -- Isabel -- Jack -- Jackie -- Jennifer -- Jenny -- Jerry -- Jorge -- Josh -- Josie -- JT -- Karen -- Kelly -- Kelly Brown -- Kerrie -- Klepto -- L1 Benchmark -- Ladder Nancy -- Lane -- Laura -- Linda -- Loredo -- Luke -- Lumberjack 20 -- Lyla -- Lynne -- Maggie -- Manion -- Marco -- Marguerita -- Marston -- Martin -- Mary -- Maupin -- Max Bar Muscle-ups -- Max Chest-to-Bar Pull-ups -- Max Double-Unders -- Max Handstand Hold (Free) -- Max Handstand Hold (Wall) -- Max Handstand Push-ups -- Max Handstand Push-ups (Strict) -- Max L-Sit Hold -- Max Muscle-ups -- Max Muscle-ups (Strict) -- Max Pull-ups -- Max Pull-ups (Strict) -- Max Toes-to-Bar -- Maxton -- McGhee -- Michael -- -
Moore -- Morrison -- Mr. Joshua -- Murph -- Nancy -- Nasty Girls -- Nasty Girls V2 -- Nate -- Nicole -- Nutts -- Omar -- Partner Kelly -- Paul Pena -- Peyton -- Pheezy -- Power Amanda -- Rahoi -- Randy -- Rankel -- René -- Rich -- Riley -- Row 1000m -- Row 100m -- Row 2000m -- Row 250m -- Row 3000m -- Row 500m -- Row 5K -- Roy -- Run 1 Mile -- Run 100m -- Run 10K -- Run 2 Miles -- Run 200m -- Run 400m -- Run 5k -- Run 800m -- Run Row Run Rx -- Run Row Run Scaled -- Run Row Run Sprint -- Ryan -- Schmalls -- Scotty -- Sham -- Ship -- Sisson -- Small -- Strict Elizabeth -- T.U.P. -- Tabata Something Else -- Tabata This! -- The Chief -- The Don -- The Ghost -- The Lyon -- The Other Total -- The Seven -- Thompson -- Time Priority Angie -- Timothy Helton -- TK -- Tommy V -- Topsy -- Twelve Days of Christmas -- Tyler -- Viola -- Wes -- White -- Whitten -- Wilmot -- Wittman -- Wood -- Zeus -- Zimmerman --