Athlete: Bradley Dean
How I Eat
Paleo is a sham, It's important to consume as much fast food and alcohol as possible. Consume as much juice as you can get your hands on.
How I Train
Like lance armstrong would if he was on gear, oh whoops, hang on, Like Rich Fronning on speed. It's important though to always have a list of 3-5 excuses to use in case you perform poorly. Never accept defeat graciously. Always whinge and complain about something. It is also important to do dodgey no reps wherever possible, as this saves energy. Missing a few reps here and there never hurt anyone either.
My Athletic Background
Walking from the lounge to the fridge to get beer. Sometimes I walked at a brisk pace to mix up my training a bit. Interval training is also very important, my favourite workout ever is having a shot of beer on the minute, every minute for 150 minutes.
My Experience With CrossFit
I'm disappointed that the crossfit experience doesn't include mirrors in the gyms. I really enjoy staring at my impressive physique whilst working out. Now I just have to settle for the lustful looks I get from the female athletes. It is also my experience that most gyms don't incorporate enough bicep curls in there workouts. I believe it is important to pump your guns as much as possible. Try 21-15-9 bicep curls and forearm raises @ 60% of your 1rm bicep curl. To ensure maximum definition your forearms should be waxed weekly. I also believe that crossfit gyms should have blow dryers in the men's toilet. As I like to shower and blow dry my hair after a gruelling workout, especially after bicep day.
My Work/Rest Schedule
I like to do 10-12 workouts a day. If I perform poorly in a wod I will usually fake an Injury or some other excuse and do it again. I believe it is important to talk about how good you are and take your shirt off wherever possible. On rest days apply fake tan.
How long have you been doing CrossFit?
I invented crossfit.